Distraction-Your-Face

“Is that really what you’re wearing? Mahiya ka nga (Have some shame)!”. “The school handbook prohibits outfits like that”, “Boys get distracted when girls wear revealing clothes…”, “She was asking for it, look at the way she’s dressed!”

Every woman has heard at least one of these lines. Every woman, at some point in her life, was required to restrict her wardrobe, and ultimately her channel for self-expression, because of the revealing nature of the clothing she chose. And every woman, at some point in her life, will grow tired of always having to hold back, just because the boys get “distracted”.

What a joke, a woman must think, every single time any variation of the sentence “For the benefit of the males, dress appropriately,” has been uttered to her; and to be honest, I wouldn’t blame her, especially since I too think the same. It’s 2017! Truly it is, yet most people still seem to have a primitive point of view when it comes to women and how we should live our lives. Why is it that it ss 2017, and yet people still think women’s clothing and the way some women dress “inappropriately” are the causes of them being sexualized and sexually harassed?

I, myself, have experienced such harassment. Getting catcalled while walking through a subdivision near where I live just because I was wearing makeup and shorts. Grown up men call out to me saying “Hi, ate”, “Ingat ka ate (Take care),” as if we were friends that talk on a regular basis. Not only that, but harassment comes from home, too. I get told everyday how I get called out for wearing leggings and a shirt that’s not long enough to cover the area by my pelvis. Or how I should not wear shorts that are “too short” because I will attract attention towards myself that I shouldn’t be. As if my body was anybody else’s business but mine. I’m sure I’m not the only one who feels this way. The sad part is, people will think people who think like me are the ones in the wrong for being deviant, and perpetuating this “distraction”.

Another example is how people tell people with big breasts to not wear tight tops, or very often told to “cover up” so as to not show their cleavage or the shape of their chest, as if it was their fault it was big in the first place. Some examples are girls whom I’ve interviewed, which I will withhold the names of upon their requests and shall call according to their favorite colors, Pink, Gray and Blue . They all have the “problem” of having big chests and all of them have said the same exact thing: It’s annoying that people think they can say what they want about the girls’ bodies, and that people should just mind their own business. Gray even said that they could shove their unwarranted opinions up where the sun doesn’t shine. Yeouch.

It’s time that everyone realizes that it’s not because of how women dress, or what kind of clothes they wear that they’re harassed, it’s because of the fact that some people just can’t keep it in their pants; in this case, they can’t keep their unnecessary comments in their mouths. Didn’t we all learn in preschool that is we have nothing good to say, to not say anything at all? But you see, that’s the thing. The people who catcall and the people who give their unwarranted, harassing opinions don’t know that what they’re saying isn’t really ideal. “It was a compliment! I don’t get why she has to have an attitude about it!” Let’s break this common defense phrase into two parts.

Part 1: No, it was not a compliment. Your comment about how she must have “sugar tits” because she has a “nice rack” is not a compliment. It’s you being a pervert. Whistling at someone in the street as well is not a compliment, nor is it meant to indirectly say that you appreciate her sense of style. It’s annoying and it makes girls want to stop, backtrack to you, and punch your daylights out.

Part 2: Just because she wasn’t silent about your harassment and refused to let you get away with your rudeness doesn’t mean that she’s stuck up and has an attitude, and no, it’s not because she’s about to get her period either. It’s her defending herself and trying to set an example to other women and people that it’s okay to speak up and be assertive; that it’s okay to speak your mind and fight back.

To put it simply, no, she does not appreciate you doing what you do. Pink said during the interview that men don’t even do it to garner attention. They do it because that’s what they’re used to seeing. That it’s what’s “manly”. Basically, catcallers do what they do, not to catch the attention of women, but because they want to impress their fellow men with how oh-so manly and oozing with testosterone they are. Funny, right?

You see, it’s not the clothes’ fault, and it’s not the wearer’s fault either, whether or not she or he gets called out on the street, or for having others be distracted by a little shoulder skin or the natural shape of legs inside comfortable jeans or leggings. People get distracted all the time, and we are taught time and time again that distractions are to be fought to maintain focus. If people decide to focus on something other than some girl’s exposed calves, then they will focus on other things. People only get distracted for long if and when they want to be distracted. It’s as easy as that. We don’t get to choose what distracts us, but we get to choose where we go from there.

Danelle Senead T. Maloloy-on